Paper Heart

Okay. I want to write this 'unpopular opinion' before it gets away. Everytime I touched down domestic flight and was welcomed by family, at that time of peluk and salam my parents I will always got teary eye and leleh session. Why? Because at that time, was the time that Allah makbulkan one of my du'a to see my parents again. Bayang kan tiap hari doa ya Allah panjang jodoh aku dan kedua ibu bapa ku agar kami dapat bersatu kembali. dan Allah makbulkan, macam mana tak syahdu. One of your du'a has been granted :') So it was like Allah terima kasih panjangkan umur kami, dengan izin Mu kami dapat berkumpul kembali.

6th April 2018 Jumaat. Seminar dah settle. Case presentation pun dah. Tapi kaki melangkah keluar dengan penuh debaran. Pelik juga kenapa palpitation tiba-tiba ni. Turns out harini banyak benda di luar kawalan. Tension headache menyerang sebelah petang sampai ke malam. Kepala berat gagah keluar sebab teringin red velvet. Tapi hampa pulak red velvet pun tak sedap seperti biasa. Kek rasa lama. Spagetti pun kurang garam. Ni siapa yang bad day, aku ke chef ni? Sampai semua takda rasa. Lepas dinner, meeting map. Kenapa kena ada mcc ahad ni, penat merungut dalam hati. Partner yg incharge dengan aku dah blah tak bagitau sampai laa aku tanya. Bengang dia aku je rasa. Buat module sorang-sorang lepas tu nak kena jaga station sorang-sorang. Okey dah habis meeting. Nak kena settle jemur baju semua. Nak settle kan log book by malam ni. Sebab esok lusa dah start busy cme dengan mcc. Ya Allah bantu aku. Permudahkan semuanya. Ye aku tau. Aku menulis bila aku dah taktau nak luah di man...

26th January 2018 I want to write this story as a self reminder. So today, i reached my limit. I actually brokedown and crying while solat (no marks for khusyuk obviously). My life has been quite stressful these past few days. Our semester exam is approaching and this neuro posting is killing me. For selanjar 7 we have 4 killer specialist posting which are ent ophthal commed and neuro. For 3 weeks of neuro, we got alot of things to accomplish, 2 case write-up of neuro case is like 10 cases btw because it will be long and complicated cases. So we just started clerking this week and bayangkan all 20 people have to write different case. Neuro case is not like batuk demam sehari 10 admissions and everyone was like fighting over the cases, siapa cepat dia dapat case best and mudah. Tak tambah lagi patient's side yg language barrier and not cooperative yada yada. And for next week I have to present tutorials twice. Topics pun boleh tahan susah dia. And what's more I have topic...

Assalamualaikum w.b.t Alhamdulilah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. Happy Friday people :)

Assalamualaikum w.b.t Today was the first day for a new posting, Internal Medicines. Its quiet tougher than Paeds (based on people reviews) mainly due to the doctors and lecturers and their expectations, teaching styles and homeworks.  However, to be stressful for something we can't change is not useful. So, I keep reminding myself, if you can't change that thing,fate or situation that made me stress, then I must change myself for the best outcome.  Please pray for me and my colleagues. May everything sails smoothly. and yeah, I'm coming home people! wait for me! p/s : some issues here and there, I think its common.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t One fine day, me suddenly got myself a new resolution for a new year hahahaa and till now (the 5th day of 2017) the new-resolution-games is still going strong. I hope to continue this up to 21th day so that it will become habits. Pray for me! then, till we meet again :)

Basically ,this trip was one of the best things that happened to me in 2016. This is because it was the 2nd country I visited after India and this trip was a 'ganjaran' from me to myself after passing my Professional Exam in Phase I wuhuuuuuuuu (pass Pro Exam is one of the best best best things in 2016 also!! ) Will write about this trip soon before the memories fade. But me right now got makan-makan majlis to attend so you guys enjoy the video first alrite? Adios. Till we meet again :)

Assalamualaikum w.b.t Allahu! pejam celik pejam celik. dah masuk tahun ketiga kat India. dah masuk Clinical years dah pun, dah masuk phase II hahahaa and dah masuk 6 minggu posting Paeds (total : 8 minggu). cepatnya masa berlalu. hahahaa padahal diri sendiri terlupa yg ada blog yg dah lama tak terupdate ni. yelah zaman sekarang mana ada dak-dak tulis blog dah. semuanya snapchat lah instagram je #iknowimgettingold Lagi 2 minggu posting Paeds ni akan berakhir dan jujur aku mengakui dah start ada feeling sedih nak tinggal kan department ni. Mula-mula rasa susah. Biasalah budak-budak yang sakit tapi nak clerk nya mak or ayah budak. ada certain soalan tak boleh ditanya pada parents ( contohnya : palpitation? types of pain? scale of pain? etc ) dah la ditambah pulak bahasa Hindi yang tunggang-langgang. Kannada Marathi toksah tanya laa lagi hancur lebur. bukak buku bahasa pun patient still tak paham. kalau pun mereka faham, jawapan kepada soalan tu kami pulak tak paham. Akhirnya, dua-dua...

Kalau diikutkan hati mahu terawih di rumah saja Kenapa? sebab selalu ada masalah hati bila ke masjid. hati selalu bengang dengan makcik makcik di masjid yang susah betul mahu merapatkan saff, bila disuruh rapatkan saff macam-macam alasan diberi. sakit lutut lah. dah cukup rapat lah sedangkan jelas ada jarak yang memisahkan. aku perhatikan makcik-makcik ini juga mempunyai sindrom sayangkan sejadah. susah untuk mereka bergerak memenuhi saff kosong dihadapan kerana tidak mahu tinggalkan sejadah mereka. Ditambah lagi dengan cuaca yang panas membahang, kebanyakan makcik-makcik ini lebih suka untuk awal-awal lagi berada di bawah kipas dan menyuruh orang lain untuk merapatkan saff. Allah, sabar saja sebab aku ini orang muda. berkata lebih-lebih sat lagi dicop kurang ajar. nanti ditanya lagi anak siapa ini. nama baik orang tua aku juga perlu dijaga. Setiap kali ke terawih itulah masalah utama yang aku sendiri pun tidak tahu cara merawatnya. beza benar sewaktu terawih s...

6:22 AM, 3 July 2015 bersamaan 16 Ramadhan 1436H Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Pejam celik pejam celik dah masuk 16 hari di bulan yang penuh mulia ini. Pejam celik pejam celik dah seminggu di Malaysia. *masa jangan cepat sangat plis* Hari ini Jumaat pertama di Malaysia setelah sekian lama. Dah lama rasanya tapi baru hari ini rasa nak menulis tentang betapa amazed-nya aku dengan perjalanan hidup ataupun qada’ qadar yang telah Allah tetapkan untukku ini. Lebih kepada membuatkan aku lebih banyak berfikir dan berterima kasih padaMu ya Allah, yes actually. Pengalaman lepas buat aku sedar yang kita manusia hanya merancang tetapi Allah juga merancang dan perancangan Allah itu Maha hebat. So, to make a story short and sweet. Disaat hidup terumbang ambing dan dalam usia yang masih mentah, 18 tahun hidup di dunia ini bukan lah umur yang cukup panjang atau dewasa bagiku dalam membuat keputusan. Di saat umur sebanyak itu, aku terpaksa membuat macam macam...

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or Saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs. Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard ...

bila nak move on? susah wei susah. bukan senang. hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih. i know.. but.. give it a try.. how? ... ... ...

Summary of my thought for tonight. Will try to write better next time. *duhhh i cant find my words lately*

Assalamualaikum w.b.t Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah :) That's all I can said for everything that Allah has set up for me. It was a long journey. Very long. From Malaysia to India of course. And from what happened (from that very stressful experiences to "another stressful events" in a good way ihiks) It has been almost 2 months after leaving my home sweet home, my beloved parents family and friends, my television and all the entertainments available and the most miss super sedap malaysian food.  I survive. So........what to write now,huh? Belgaum is doing okay. Weather is not so cold not so hot. Just perfect. ihik Study is progressing very fast. Today's event Samudra 2014 is very fun and tiring. #GoAtlantic! Tired of Mess's food, tired of chicken, tired of masala. ughhhhhh Money is over flowing like tap water hahahaa Everything is okay I think. Alhamdulillah :D p/s : cant wait to see you Malaysia. June 2015 please come faster!...

Tak guna menyesal. Sabar atas segala yang terjadi. InsyaAllah kalau betul rezeki no matter what , where, when , pasti Allah bagi jugak. Tapi kalau bukan rezeki, usaha sampai bila-bila pun tak akan jadi rezeki kita jugak. So, sabar and redha.

Kali ini Tuhan menguji lagi. Kali ini ujianNya sedikit hebat. Sehingga aku terduduk. :') Aku kuat aku kuat aku kuat aku kuat aku kuat. *bisik ke jiwa

Redha. Aku serah segalanya padaMu Tuhan kerna Kau lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik buat hambaMu ini. Aku doa. Aku diperkuat fizikal mental dan iman takmau dipermudah dugaan kerna aku tahu the strongest battle is for His strongest soldiers dan aku mahu jadi antara His strongest soldiers itu :) -Kembali menulis 8/9/13 23:58

22.01.2013 First time using stetoscope :) weeeeee bengang telinga mula-mula pakai. (The first time using it actually when I was in standard5,but I dont want to take it into account). First time juga makan ikan keli sambal. (tak makan lagi baru beli,tak tau la apa rasanya nanti)

Aku tahu, setiap yang berlaku ada hikmahnya. :)

bukan senang nak buat keputusan. bukan mudah nak pilih yang mana yang terbaik apabila melibatkan..... masa depan. istikharah serta usaha (buat research2 sikit) je laa yang mampu. antara nak makan nasi air yang orang belanja ataupun nak makan nasi kandar,nasi ayam,nasi kerabu,ikut selera sendiri tapi bayar sendiri. *perghhh,analogi aku,macam tak masuk akal je.hehe ;p tapi bantu lah aku Ya Allah. semoga segala keputusan yang dibuat adalah yang terbaik.